The non-things that make me :)

"Some of the things in life that give us true happiness are not Things" - the ad line for a bank...noticed it on a board while travelling. For the rest of the journey I was trying hard to prove this wrong, but failed. I was looking around to see if there was any*thing* that I was carrying that could give me happiness. I looked on the seat, in my bag, in my hand... the nano, laptop, cellphone, car keys, clothes, shoes, water bottle, sunglasses, maps etc.
One by one I tried to evaluate if any of those things are really a source of true happiness for me.Yeah they make life convinient but I could probably still find happiness without them. Nothing satisfactory :(
I looked out of the window....at the road ahead which was leading me to a destination that I had never been to, at the lush beauty of nature on either sides, at the open crisp blue sky above, at a little girl cycling along the road ... to add to that was the feeling of the warm sun on my skin and cool breeze carrying the tunes of old classics of Frank Sinatra playing on the music system accompanied with laughter of the people in the car whose company matter to me. And I smiled. I said a quick prayer to thank God for the beautiful life that he has given me...a life which does not depend on things for fulfillment.

Today sitting in my office cube jotting this down I was trying to recollect the events since morning that made me smile, just to double check that they were independent of *things*. So right from start:
Checked my weight to find I lost 3 pounds :)
Familiar face of the bus driver who recognized me and said hello, how are you today? :)
The view of Seattle skyline across the water while crossing the bridge, checked the sky..looks like good weather today :)
At work I got some code running, I was struggling with an issue for two days :)
Had lunch with a friend whom I had not met in the past 5 years :)
Made plans for the evening to watch Pirates of the Carribean: Dead man's chest :)
Looking forward to tomorrow's trip to Mount Rainier :)
Cool, no THINGS!!

If you are reading this feel free to check your list of events of the day and validate/invalidate my opinion.

Of known devils and unknown angels

My sneakers are three years old and need replacement. But I am just so comfortable in them that I have been avoiding buying a new one. They know my feet so well and have been with me through thick and thin for a long time now. The familiarity and comfort zone that they define is hard to replace. That set me thinking about things that I have noticed people cling on to in the fear of losing their comfort zone or things that we get so used to that we keep postponing their replacement.
Watch- the other day I noticed a PhD student wearing an Alwyn Trendy.Remember Alwyn Trendy, that was my first watch too! The ones which had removable plastic straps with striped grooves. The dial was usually circular and colorful. I was a proud owner of one of those in my teens before I graduated to a Titan. I am sure that watch which the person was wearing is at least 10 years old. Imagine his level of attachment to it that has pursuaded him to treasure that watch for so many years.
Pair of jeans - Almost everyone owns that one pair of jeans that just fits them perfect. When they were new and crisp they weren't their favorite, but after a few washes and regualar wear for a long time they have acquired the perfect color and fit. They are a must wear whether its regular work/school or a first date and doesnt matter if their edges are worn out.
Hairbrush - I have not been able to replace my favorite hairbrush since nothing else seems to give my hair the right texture. New ones either have their teeth too apart or too close.
Laptop/Computer - Computers too have their defined comfort zones. I hate it when I have to switch to a new environment- start from scratch, import bookmarks, reinstall software, add shortcuts to the quick lauch, adjust the folder view settings, get acquainted to a new mouse/joystick/touchpad and even after all this it won't have all my documents, photos, music etc... its a painful process to tread into a new territory and customize it. It is this familiarity due to which a company like Microsoft has survived and will survive for a long long time. They have made people used to their environments, their menus, their functionalities. For a layman to switch to a new operating system or software is like trying to take a detour from his known daily route in a new land.
Comfortor- Changing comforter, pillow and bed leads to disturbed sleep.
Wallet - We get used to the slots which fit the cards and ids perfectly now. The leather has stretched, expanded, collapsed to fit exactly in our pockets. Transferring all the accumulated stuff like passport sized photographs, old credit card receipts which were stored just in case we decided to return the stuff, coins which have no use, small chits with jotted down phone numbers, backup cash and unused cards, important ids etc into a new wallet is a cumbersome process. Moreover the new wallet may not have the right structure or button or the right sized pockets. Similarly changing a bag/purse you are used to carrying everyday is again a headache.
Remote controls - We get used to the placement of the buttons on our remote controls, so used to that we can operate it in the darkness. I hate it when I have to switch to a new remote control and cannot find the right button when I need to change the channel or reduce the volume immediately.
There are several such small things whose familiarity settles comfortably in our lives, so comfortably that even if we realise after several years that we could do with something better we prefer their familiarity to a new experiment. This somehow reminded me of some relationships in which two people, despite knowing that they are not meant for each other and things won't work, hang on because of familiarity... because they are used to each other or some arranged marriages where people fall in love because they grow used to each other. Its not exactly the same analogy but just thought of it.

A new love story

I am falling in love. Everything about her is whatever I always wanted. She is beautiful, lively, arty, classy,versatile, smart and intelligent, has coexisting myriad moods- she can be whatever I want her to be. She doesn't bore me with monotony, doesn't incarcerate me, doesn't make me feel that I wanted to be elsewhere. I am attracted to her hopelessly. Will this be a transient liaison or a long term relationship? Only time will tell.

For all those who are wondering about my sexual orientation... she is Seattle.

Some headlines from the top of my head

Some events in the past weeks that are worth a comment:

Rahul Mahajan and drugs: One of the comments revealed was that he spends 60-70K INR everyday on parties, friends, clubs and of course he forgot to mention, drugs. To think that is more than the individual annual salary of half of India's population! Also he failed a flight training in America, started a software firm and a production company all of which bombed.
So much for our taxes!
Apollo hospital gave him a clean chit. Another hospital contradicted that. There was supposedly no drugs and a low content of alcohol in his blood, the former said. Et tu Doctors?
Let the media hype die down a bit. Let the politician god fathers and family friends buy out a few more people. And soon Rahul Mahajan will be history. Or who knows he might create history in the good books by being elected someday.

Shiloh-Nouvel Jolie-Pitt: The few days old infant has lived her life in media. Her parents ensconced in Namibia to avoid the paparazzi. They bought the rights for 24 domain names made from the various combinations of her 7 syllabled name with all possible extensions (.com,.org,.net). They sold her photos for more than 4 millionUSD and donated it to charity. Is this too a publicity gimmick or is being a celebrity that tough?
And what's with every hollywood actor wanting to be a parent? Another way of connecting to the masses or is being a celebrity *really* that tough?

Al-Zarqawi killed: One killed, another succeeds him. The game of musical chairs continue. Will this ever end? Can we hope for peace, love and a tension free life in the year of 6/6/6?

6/6/6: Was uneventful. No satans. No devils. Not even a terrorist attack in any part of the world that happens every other day. So much for the pregnant ladies who feared giving birth to the AntiChrist. Those whose fears materialized, will they blame their child's every small mistake or poor grades on the devil? For Christ's sake!!

Google's new spreadsheet: No macros, no graphs.... so excel stays put for now! I appreciate their goal of bringing everything online, though. Free software for hitting a few links everyday. Sure thing! That reminds me of an ad I spotted, painted on a bus in the Redmond, WA area: Why do you want to give your lunch money to the big bullies? - OpenOffice.org

Finding home.....

Its been a while. I have been travelling, trying to settle down. Again. A new city, new work place, new room to stay, new weather, new traffic, new computer, new people, new food, new commute, new daily schedule. And this is the probably the 15th time in the past 7 years, since I left home at 18. Hostels, paying guests, apartments, hotels, college, work, school,internships,vacations at home ...time has flown by. While unpacking my luggage last night I was wondering what do I call home? The apartments which change sooner than I can adjust myself to a good night's sleep? The kitchens where I microwave frozen food, which I never equip completely assuming I will do it once I settle down finally, someday. Restrooms where I never get quite adapted to the mirror or the layout. The walls which are not mine, either they are adorned by photographs of families I don't know or they are bare. I make do by putting up the few photos of family and friends that I always carry, on my bedside. The cities whose roads I do not know. My suitcases and bags have to be kept handy all the time since I know my stay here is temporary.
Gone are those days when our family suitcases would come out once a year to be packed before a summer holiday trip. Mom would spend a week trying to ensure all the stuff that everyone will need was taken care of, lists were made, clothes were pressed and on the final day the suitcase was secured by tiny metal locks. Before taking off we would lock the windows and doors, let our maid go for her yearly vacation to her village and inform our neighbours that we are going to be away and that they should keep an eye on our "home". At the end of the vacation all I wanted to do was sleep on my own bed under the same ceiling fan, the noise of which I was so accustomed to that without it I wouldn't get a good night's sleep. Looking out of the window to find familiar faces in the neighbourhood, eating at the dining table, where I had my early meals as a toddler, on plates, that had been demoted to serve regular meals cause they could not be served to guests. The water from the steel filter seemed the safest to drink, the taste of the food, though we complained about it being boring everyday, was tuned to our palates. The shower head, though gushed out water with more strength than I would want, seemed like the only thing that could cleanse all the dirt.
The sound of familiar voices, the feel of familiar touch, the warmth of home.
The balcony where I have spent all my afternoons reading, playing sitting under the washed school uniforms which hung from the rope to dry and where my grandmom has narrated so many a story while tying my hair in plaits. The book case which housed my new brown-paper covered text books and the new story books bought at the book fair in January every year , the collection which had grown from Enid Blyton to Arundhati Roy accompanied all the way by Tinitin and Tinkle and of course my encyclopedias. Its all there in the glass doored wooden book case - my years of wisdom. The Godrej steel almirahs where Ma has stored our childhood clothes for our next generation to wear, with napthalene balls preserving them. The wall hangings collected from our trips, the paintings and photographs which I were a part of. The furniture whose corners had hurt my sister's and my knees while we ran around the living room chasing each other. The study table which was a support for so many years of my education especially during long nights before board exams, the drawers where I stored my secrets, the dressing table where I had sat and tried my first makeup. The television, music system, refrigerator and microwave which still serve us faithfully. The living room echoes the noises of the late night get-togethers, trivial arguments and birthday parties. The bedrooms remind me of the times when all four of us slept in the same bed because there was only one air-conditioner to keep us cool on humid summer nights. The staircases, the patterns of whose tiles are etched in my memory. The large Gulmohar tree, the tubewell, the grocery store..they all stand there the same.Thats my home. It does not have the amenities I would have liked it to have or interior decoration that I have dreamt of. But I don't think I can call anything else *home*.
To convert just a comfort zone to a home would take years of memories and familiarity. Hope I get there someday. Till then I ll miss home.